my husband wants me and the other woman

If and when they buy another house (and she has her name on it) I think shell drop him like a ton of bricks and take all the money to live what she thinks is a better life (but not to me). Marriage is not a relationship with the on and off pattern. Terms of Service. So 6 weeks ago he told me he was trying at the marriage. My friends ex-husband and the other woman both have personalities that I believe qualify them both for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She posted their entire relationship on her blog. You can read more about me. Until you walk a mile in their shoes please dont judge them or think that they have done something to make them leave. Some of this is just not true. Of course, they can do it all as friends. It helps to rebuild your family and renew trust. She is not the typical other woman. You can also subscribe without commenting. Hi Em it is, often, a kind of sharing arrangement. I am trying to figure out what power she has over him. One day my cousin gets a call from the current young & dumb wife. What he wants, what he chooses and what he justified in his little brain. She was the perfect victim of a predatory old man. Doug, When I was reading this weekly post I thought of your family situation. Dealing with this with an open mind and remain as calm as you can is always your best bet. Thats undeniable. All these are signs he might be attracted to another woman. The day that Bella found out about the affair was around the same time she found out he had lost all of the money from her inheritance. My h ow said the similar to him. I just found out she got married to a very warm and genuine guy, whos good looking and wealthy. They have their families, and they have their mistresses. Her posts were about guys using her and dumping her. Typically, the reasons for emotional infidelity are the same as for physical ones. Another sore subject with LindaHer parents are a handful as they are in their 80s and are struggling with dementia (her dad is) as well as physical and health limitations. If this has been an ongoing problem for some time and nothing has changed. I have held the anger in trying to forget about it. Im a little older ((ok a lot older)) and Ive seen a lot. Constant reproaches wont help you build a new and happy life from scratch. & when you said she took revenge on you & it opened up his eyes, I can guarantee that will happen with my husbands OW too. Really? If you decide to stay together only to play the You had an affair with another woman card at the right time and say other hurtful things to blame him for what happened, should you stay together at all? Having a child together. When you sort this out then you are a step to ending your husbands relationship with the other woman. He even cancelled our couple trip and chose to go alone giving absurd reasons. I'm trying to understand his desire. Although Im still waiting, I think eventually it will. They have children. Someone wrote to us at TMF*, "In all other ways, he is a great husband. Looking back on things now I can see that he really controlled me, my mother and brother. My husband loves another woman and me. Never a hint of guilt. I think the second major threat in terms of situations where a man might leave his wife is when a spouse meets a co-worker with whom they think they click. Although such statistics are rather sad, each couple has a chance to be among that 15.6% who stayed together and managed to build trust and start a new relationship with each other. I should have a dollar for every time Ive heard one of my clients say, Oh, hes going to leave his wife. (1). In fact, his wife is exactly like the mom but the wife looks exactly like his dad, if you were to put a wig on his dad. Imagine that! Tell him how you have been feeling and ask if you had previously offended him. Her life has been completely wasted and before she developed dementia, she was a very bitter and distraught woman. I think that this is pretty hilarious because on a subconscious level both were trying so hard to get rid of the smell of the shit that they were doing behind closed doors. In this case, the restoration of your marriage is doomed to failure. Men distance themselves from their wives and them begin to look for companions in other women. I had a bad experience with being the one who got away. In my mind, when I broke up with that person years ago, I was 100% done and I never regretted the break up. If she is a colleague, he may apply to transition to another office. I will admit that she has a good sense of humor and is probably pretty fun to party with and Im thinking thats what a major element of the attraction is. Sam, I think deep down shes a very insecure person who knows that Lindas brother has a history of infidelity. 3. That is one cold and calculating woman. Try to put aside fear, push resentment aside, and imagine your own life without your husband. At that time I noticed and found the signs. She constantly checks his mobile/cell phone for calls and text messages from other suspectable women: he is self-employed gardener and has many quite young female customers, who are stay-at-home moms [15 years younger than her at-least], while their husbands go out to work, who she is apparently jealous and envious of he made him even get rid of a few beacuse she didnt like him going over there. Make divorce easier. Those things, which seem unnecessary to you may mean the world to your husband. Shes just a younger, prettier version of his ex-wife. Your request has been successfully submitted. I thought and realized I had burtief that anger about the coke thing. The Ultimate Truth, What Is Emotional Cheating? This story will eventually have a happy ending for Bella, but not for Nikki or Scott. Learn how your comment data is processed. If he continues to see her, everyone will suffer. Your email address will not be published. He doesnt see not putting effort in to our marriage is affecting me, regardless how many times I spoke up. She is nuts!!!! I dont have credit card debt. Well, this all started at least 4 years ago and to my knowledge the company hasnt said anything. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. But, she was so fooled by Frank that she shunned all advances, believing Frank would one day make good on his promise to marry her. Wonder if he ever supported his kids or spent time with them. Asked for divorce blah blah blah. Crushes are harmless when they're not acted upon; thus, they don't mean your marriage is on the verge of ending. For the wives who are left behind, take the opportunity to find a man of value. In terms of him marrying her I dont think he will TBH. The reasons for a man cheating are as varied as the men themselves. Now he has a family he needs to support & he wont have that extra money. You can recognize open love by the following signs: Your husband doesnt hide his interaction with the other woman. She has no children due to some medical condition supposedly, so no, he is not a step father. I love him but cant trust him, which causes a lot of conflict in our marriage. It hurts but I know deep down that they deserve each other and if I were her I wouldnt trust him. Maybe she cant get pregnant. No family support, his kids and wife will be a distant memory and one he wishes he could call. In fact, I have yet to see a situation where either the man or the former mistress are normal. Co-workers understand all of our work-related troubles and so often we naturally confide in them about work troubles. Now, this part is usually the obvious part of a change in attitude. And relationships are about give-and-take. Someone who would have made his life a living hell. I dont see their relationship lasting very long. If you cant discuss all marriage problems that concern you on your own, or if you cant control your emotions, it is better to visit a professional. If this other woman stays in your husbands life, she will stay in your life, causing so much pain for both of you. Do not sound attacking or desperate. An emotional mess, party girl, complete slapper, tattoos everywhere and a great big social media whore. Dont be too hard on yourself. He never got over you. Nikki and Scott met when they were both doing real estate as a side business. He also said he loved me so much. So maybe the OW married a nice guy. Sometimes he brought his wife to social events and sometimes one of his OW. However, there is a room to give the benefit of a doubt. If he talks about her frequently there's only one reason: She's on his mind frequently. You qualify to use CompleteCase.com to start your online! He does! Are you sure you want to unsubscribe? Dont force anything but make efforts towards restoration. He gets so irritated that you begin to wonder if you changed overnight. Probably not. She will know it will only be a matter of time before he cheats on her too. He had multiple OW and at least one child by an OW and it was all covered up by his changing work schedule. It becomes unnatural if the attraction is leading towards intimacy. Men really listen to their drinking buddies, I know because my own dad listened to them when he was offloading about me, my mum and brother and one of his friends said: have an affair, theyll get over it, now he [my dad] has disowned this particular friend he even offloaded to his friends about how awful, vile and disgusting the OW was, when he came back to us. Now, the other woman is none of your concern. After all, why would anyone in their right mind destroy all of the years they have built? There is never any friends or family at all in the photos. Insist he love me? If spouses have many assets acquired together and the husband has something to lose, he can hide his affair to the end. Its either you do not bother trying to know her or pretend like she does not exist. I let him know in no uncertain terms that it was over and it would always be over between us. I would also say that you set the record straight with any inquiring minds about what happened. It also helped that he was a European and couldnt simply just drive over to my house. Otherwise we would just be whip sawed behind her anger at his betrayal. He wants to watch me with other men. We can lead a horse to water, but we cannot make that horse drink. Instead of discussing why your husbands relationship with the other woman was so special, you need to figure out when the crack started in your marriage. This site has been a tremendous help to me in trying to recover, and it seems that it also gives many other people the ability to allow them to work through this very challenging time in their life. If karma is as bad as what they say, and several times worse than what they dish out, then being in their shoes would be a terrible place to be. Hold your head high, find your new Prince, and allow them to wallow in the mud together. His kids asked him how he had replaced their mom so quickly. Its very convenient to get passion on the side and clean clothes, favorite foods, and comfortable slippers at home. Yeah, well, all I can say is that nothing good can ever come from an evil act. I wanted to believe it, but its just not true. What surprises me the most is that he is an executive. His peers would not accept her at work. What if you suddenly become unreliable? If your husband won't invest in the work to improve your relationship. The traditional definition of infidelity doesnt imply ambiguity. Look through what he had pointed out and begin to work towards it. First wife, she sounds very similar to your ow. If you are the other person, or the third person, or the one that is not known about (OW or OM) you also are being involved with lies, deception and broken promises. He spoke English and she did not. But it was doomed because he was in love. However, if you and your spouse truly want to resurrect your marriage, nothing is impossible. While the ow continues to have your thoughts you are giving her the power to keep you down. If you bring it on in the hard way, he will bring it closer in the harder way. Their entire neighborhood knew as he would bring the GF to their house while my cousin was at work. Howeverit still pisses me off. Does anybody believe the saying what goes around, comes around?. Why does she stay when your doing this to her, why does she just leave us alone so we can be together? Required fields are marked *. If you click "Unsubscribe" your email address will be removed from our database and we won't be able to get in touch with you by email when you may need it. Many wives wonder why do men have affairs. I love how insightful you are at a younger age. My children have never met her and dont know that she exists or is the reason we are divorced. 2010-2019 Emotional Affair Journey. How unfortunate that selfish people have no clue. You would think he would run far away from someone so similar to his 1st wife. Exists or is the reason we are divorced, a kind of sharing arrangement great big social whore! Spouses have many assets acquired together and the other woman is none of your family situation his to... For physical ones personalities that I believe qualify them both for a man cheating are as varied as the themselves. Recognize open love by the following signs: your husband if she is a colleague, he may to... 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